Among author photos and other decorations in our bookstore is posted a list of questions and answers. These are just some of the wide-ranging, thoughtful questions which a long-established used-book store receives from time to time from its curious visitors; and — in the spirit of public service and the cause of enlightenment — the gentle, restrained answers we give.
- Have you read all these books?
— No; or, yes, and we have translated all of them into Sanskrit.
- Is this like a library?
— No; we buy and sell new and used books.
- Do you rent these books?
- Who gives you all these books?
— A magic genie.
- Where did you get all of these books?
— See previous answer.
- The book must be here somewhere. It was here six months ago.
— We see this happen every day.
- Why don't you have a list of everything here?
— The stock changes too often, and it's too labor intensive.
- Can my kids run around wild, dripping ice cream and soda, and grabbing expensive scholarly books from Cambridge University Press, while I go next door?
- It's been a long time since I've been here. Do you still sell these books?
- Is there any theme here? Are the books in any kind of order?
— We feature a selection of scholarly books in academic disciplines.
- I called two days ago looking for a book. Is it in yet? [Repeat every two days.]
— Sorry; they come and go.
- I bought this book last week at a garage sale for a quarter. Why do you charge so much for it?
— Publishers set the price on new books. Used books sell for whatever the market deems prudent.
- How much does this book cost?
— Our book pricing policy — pick the price formula that best suits your needs:
- The price which is, astoundingly, printed on, affixed to, or written in the book.
- Take the price printed, affixed, or written, find the cube root, divide by 2.464, then multiply by 3 squared.
- Have you liked books for a long time?
Of course our faithful long-term customers, as well as entranced new browsers, bring a greater degree of enlightenment into the store; and, we fondly hope, carry a little more enlightenment away with them.